Collage of People and Hair

I watched the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders reality show tonight with my good friend. As we sat and ate the mint chocolate chip ice cream that her husband had delivered to us as we sat on the couch, the women on the show were being poked, prodded, and dunked in water to calculate their percentage of body fat. The show only got better after one girl was told that her nails, hair and dance style made her look like a stripper and the girls had to try on the infamous uniform.

I was watching and thought, "Where are their friends?!?!" As these young women were going through a form a torture that could only be equal to something like seeing your extremely cute ex-boyfriend in line at the bank when you have not washed your hair in two days and put on yesterday's clothes, I wanted to reach over, grab their skinny 10% body fat hands and say, "You don't have to do this! Let's go shoe shopping instead." That seems like it would be much more fun and less humiliating. However, none of this will effect the fact that I will continue watching the show.

You see, I have some of the most amazing friends in the world. I must say that they are some of the most drastically different people you will ever meet. Take Jenn. She is the blonde haired, pre-K teaching ballerina. She has a hope chest filled with cherry dishes and matching tea towels. She loves Focus on the Family, and she reads children's books for fun. She even sent me a text message recently asking me if I would disown her if she bought herself a Christmas sweater to wear in her classroom. I said no, but it would give me free reign to make fun of her for the rest of her life.

Now take Lealyn. Once, Lealyn drew a picture of the female anatomy on my mirror to teach a simple lesson to our engaged roommate. She enjoys a good cigar, and she can also make a mean banana pudding. She lives a life out of some sort of twisted trust. Once when spending the night at her house, she stated, "We were robbed a few weeks back. The man tried to hit my Grandpa with a baseball bat. But, we still don't lock the doors. We are safe here." I didn't sleep all night long.

Of course I can not make a list of my friends without discussing my Megan Busby. Megan has moved to Germany with her husband and two boys. She just found out that is she is pregnant with a girl! Yea! However, Megan thinks a great name for a little girl is Prudence. Her favorite desert is astronaut ice cream, hot rollers are her every day hair care, and panty hose go with everything including jeans. She grows her own herbs in her garden and loves the Asian food market. She thinks she is Asian because her maiden name was Rice. I just let her believe that.

These are just a few of the collage of people that have made up my life. These three women will stand beside me one day when I say "I do," will have my children named after them, will room next to me at the old woman's home, and will make sure I never, ever have a panty line. They don't care that I am the friend who talks in her sleep, can't smell a single thing, wears a uniform of dresses with jeans and heels, gets car sick, cries at all movies including High School Musical 3, sends them podcasts to listen to on a daily basis, and falls asleep even when they are talking. We all make each other's lives fantastic. I wouldn't trade them for all the chocolate in the world.

Jenn and I. She has really blonde hair. I was NOT lying.

Lealyn, Megan, and Myself.

That is all for this post. I must dry my hair and get ready for the students tomorrow. I was super mean today. Word to the wise, if you ever have my class, make sure that you do your homework.

~ Stephanie ~

This One's for the Ladies

Vampires. These "creatures" are not the type that I would normally ponder. Until recently when I began to read the Twilight Saga* by Stephenie Meyers (she spells her name in an odd fashion). These books are about the "creatures" mentioned above. The blood suckers. The leaches. The immortal. The intriguing. The charismatic. The vampires.

There is much to write about my level of enjoyment for this series. However, in order to not spoil anything for those who have not read these books, I will solely focus on one character - Edward. After reading about Edward Cullen, my roommate and I have both proclaimed our desire to marry a vampire. She, being in a serious relationship currently, has asked her boyfriend if there is any possibility he may be one. He says no, but I believe she is still holding out. On Wednesday night, I told my pastor I wanted to marry a vampire. He laughed. I don't think he realized I was serious.

Of course, there are some undesirable characteristics of Mr. Cullen. His skin is cold. He does not enjoy human food. He does drink blood. These are a small price to play for the characteristics that make him wanted by each and every intelligent, grown woman that I have talked to who has read these books. Now, that is four women including myself, but for a series of teen pop culture books, that is a lot. So, what is it that makes Edward Cullen so irresistible?

One word - Devotion.

Edward is handsome, rich, strong, fast, and suave. He comes from a good family, and he has strong moral character. These things add to who his character is, but it is the devotion Edward has to his Love, Bella, that stirs the hearts of women. The moment I felt myself wish that Edward might be real came on a night he saved her from impeding danger. He shows up, out of nowhere, and he defends and rescues her. He does not ask for anything in return. There is also a moment when his devotion leads him to open himself up to her and share with her about himself in a way that he has not shared before.



Of course he loves her. He loves her enough to leave when he believes it is what is best. He loves her enough to put aside his desires as a man to protect and honor her. That loves comes from his devotion to her. He is devoted to this woman. No matter if she walks away from him, he will still go to battle for her, cling to her, and honor her.

There is something within the hearts of women that stirs when we begin to know Edward. It awakens our longings. It heightens our senses. It pushes us into a part of our our lives where we feel weak and wish our own Edward would rescue us by showing up in the nick of time, opening the door to his Volvo, and saying, "Get in." It is easy for us all to let that simply scratch the surface. We read and wish that our lives had an Edward (especially when you are single at 27 and reading teen pop literature... it makes you wish you just had a life). We want a significant other who will care for us that way.

But that is not what stirs us.

No, Ladies. That is not it at all. The stirring, the longing, and the rapid heartbeat comes because the characteristics of Edward reflect God. Some may find it blasphemous to compare the Creator of the Heavens and Earth to a vampire, but you must see the similarities. Edward fought for his true love, bathed her in affection, watched her as she slept, carried her when she was weak, stood up to anything that sought to destroy their relationship, clothed her with honor and grace, and loved her more than anything else on the planet.

That is how God sees us. He rescues us without us even having to ask. He protects our integrity. He loves our vulnerability. He laughs when we make a joke. The Bible actually says he is enthralled by our beauty. This is the God we serve.

My advice? Ladies, let God captivate and woo you. Let him hold your hand and whisper in your ear. Married, dating, or single, it does not matter. God's place can never be filled by a human. Even though we have been created to be held in the arms of a man, our hearts are created to be held in the hands of God.

Gentlemen, get the book and become someone's Edward. But, make sure she loves you, too. Watching someone sleep who does not love you is called stalking.

* I would like record to state that in spite of the controversy some Christians may stir up in light of the evil surrounding vampires, I am not going to tell you that these books are wrong for you to read. In fact, I think that if you are a Christian man or woman who has never struggled with the thought of drinking blood or biting people's necks, you should give them a try. I understand we should flee the very hint of evil, but in this society, that is hard line to draw on books like this where the hint of sex is between married couples only, those who are thought to always be bad stand up for human life, and where family is seen as beautiful and necessary to survival. What about the witchcraft used by the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella? Shall we ban that as well? I will rest my case now.

The Difference 375 Days Can Make...

A little over one year ago I wrote my last blog post. That is changing. I have decided to write. Write. Write. Write. Write. I need the unwinding. I need the moment to reflect. I crave it.

Since my last post I have changed churches, quit Starbucks, left my Claire, lived at camp, gotten cankles, moved in with a flight attendant and two cats, fallen in love with Oklahoma City, now drive a car with heated seats, darkened my hair, seen a miracle happen, and become a high school teacher. I have also fallen more in love with Jesus.

This will be good for us all.

Chaos and the Life Coach

I received a text message from a dear friend of mine. It said - "When you don't pay your electric bill, they turn off your electricity. Thought you would like to know that as I sit in the dark." I asked her if she had a planner. You see, I have started using a planner, and in my planner, I write down when my bills are due. It helps. I also write my weekly goals like - Wash the Neon. Go to Wal-Mart. Watch Ellen. I told her these things while she warmed her coffee from that morning by candle light.

I also told her about the other things I have started to do in order to find order in my life. I am now balancing my check book, writing down everything I eat, and going to bed at a decent hour. She then asked me to be her Life Coach. She even offered to pay me to do this for her. So, my friends, my question is, "What are the qualifications of a life coach?" Because, you see, I do not think I meet those qualifications. Here are a few reasons why:

1. The panic attacks. Without any exaggeration, I had to calm myself down this weekend so that I would not hyperventilate because I didn't think I would be able to get my lawn mowed. That isn't normal. Which leads me to number two...

2. Lexapro. I think I need a higher dose.

3. I download music from a shady Russian website. I do pay for it, but I am scared that I am now a Soviet.

4. I have a Master's degree, and so far the only jobs I have gotten since are as a Barista at Starbucks and as a substitute teacher.

5. For some reason, when I walk through the alarms at Barnes and Noble, I ALWAYS set them off. In fact, the guys that work in the coffee shop area call me "Alarm Girl." Normal people DO NOT DO THAT.

6. The first thing on my Christmas list is Pepper Spray.

7. I had to take a break from facebook and myspace because I was spending more time there than reading my Bible or talking to real people.

8. I have to drug myself before I fly on airplanes because I am so frightened they will fall out of the air at any moment.

9. If my house was burning down, it would be hard for me to choose between getting my roommate or my hair straightener. And, I really love my roommate.

10. I drink so much Diet Dr. Pepper that sometimes my kidneys hurt.

I just don't think I can do this job. What do you think?

Geogria... Oooooh Georgia

Currently, I am spending some time in the dirty south. Although I flew into HOT-lanta, I am visiting my BFF Megan in Augusta. Augusta is a town that makes me sad. It is kinda dingy and dirty. I try to stay in her house as much as possible. However, when we do venture out to places like my love Barnes and Noble, I shut my eyes as we drive so I do not have to see places such as Krazy Leggs Kar Wash or Mi Mi and Bo Bo's China Express. They just don't seem right.

Now, do not get me wrong. I am having a grand time. We sit around the house, watching digital cable, drinking coffee, and talking about a variety subjects including faith, high school, and Britney Spears. Here are a couple of Megan quotes that still make me laugh:

"I think I freak out about too many things. I mean, when I came to pick you up at the airport, I brought a hundred dollar bill in case I had to pay somebody off."

Megan - "Do you think that the black people are looking at you?"
Me - "No."
Megan - "They are."

Yesterday, we were sitting in the front yard at the table with the neighbors. Kate, the one on the left, was telling us how pantys and a t-shrit are appropriate attire for fixing a dryer, and Gabriel (Megan's six year old) wanted to write a note to his friend Sage - who he calls Stage. He was trying to do it and began crying because... well... he can't read or write. So, I told him to tell me what to write. I don't really remember what he said, but here is what the note said that he delivered to Stage:

Dear Stage,

Come to my h-iz-ouse. Can you come to my heazy?

Your Pimp,
Gabriel

PS Keep it Crunk.


It was grand! You all have a great day. I will keep you updated on the DIRTY SOUTH!